Who Cares About Pride? Everyone!

An Open Letter to the LGBTQIA+ Community From A Concerned Christian 

Dear [insert your name], 

Hi, my name is Laura, it’s nice to meet you! So another pride month has come and gone again, and it’s a mess out there! Online and on the streets, supporters and protestors are basically just yelling at/“statementing” (I’ll define later 😉) each other, even those that are supposed to be on the same side. I’ve been following the recent saga between Jon Root and The Chosen show staff on Twitter, and the butterfly effect from all that, and man oh man—can’t we all just get along? Answer: if we make an effort in respect and behavior, yes, but in some cases, no. Why? Immaturity, impatience, pride, etc., but ultimately sin and worldview. 

Rant…
In our modern society, we’ve largely lost the ability just to listen to each other—to really listen—to at least understand what’s being said, even if there is disagreement. Even though I don’t have a physical person in front of me right now, that’s what I’m here to do…listen. Naturally I’m going to make statements and have specific opinions that stem from a worldview as well, but if you were sitting in front of me right now I would start off with a question. 

But first, prelims…
Just a quick background, that I’m a Christian—Reformed Baptist/Calvinist (sorry, I’m not PC 😛) flavor—and my foundation/worldview is God and what he says from his Word i.e. the Bible. My motive in writing this is not to hate on you—quite the opposite. I love you and am concerned for your soul/life. I would hope that you feel the same way about me. Obviously on the issue of sexuality, we’re most likely on opposite sides of the spectrum. Yet if we both care passionately about our views and for one another, then let’s have a civil conversation shall we? Even if at the end, neither one of us changes our mind. 

Btw, just because we disagree, doesn’t mean we hate each other either. There are certainly things people do that I hate, but hatred of a person only leads to bitterness, which in the end is dishonoring to God and will eat me up inside. In fact, I’m banking on that neither one of us will change our mind after this conversation! Off the bat, I know I can’t change anyone’s heart/mind on anything—that’s God’s work, not mine, and I’m certainly not planning on that in this conversation. The goal for me is to understand where you’re coming from, and hopefully vice versa with me. Let’s just try to understand each other, and the conversation will be a success! Lastly, I’m not going to do this perfectly. Am I going to screw up and sin, and get angry/impatient/prideful? It’s not my goal, but it does happen from time to time. I just hope that I’m humble enough to say I’m sorry when it happens.

Finally, a question! 
Now that prelims are out of the way…if you were sitting in front of me right now, my first question would probably be, “What do you believe about sexuality and why do you believe it?” and/or, “What are your thoughts about God?” Going with the first question, I really want to know! From my view, if you’ve chosen to dedicate a large chunk of your life to this particular worldview on sexuality, and take the time to talk about it/share your passion with others, it must be important to you. So why?

Rant again…
Obviously I don’t have a person in front of me right now to answer, so I will skip to my “statementing”. Though in real life, I will typically “statement” after I feel I’ve listened to you, and understood as best as I can what you believe and why. Unfortunately, this is the step many people skip, and why productive conversations can’t be had. If everyone’s too busy spouting off their views without taking the time to ask a darn question, might as well not have the conversation, because no one will be listening to and learning from each other. Now, if one party is steamrolling/refusing to answer questions/not being intellectually honest/switching subjects like a hot potato, that requires a different approach. But hopefully this is not the case with either one of us. 

So questions and statements…
Why do you care about my sexuality and why is it your business? 
I care, because God, the Father of lights (Jas. 1), author of truth (Jn. 17), and creator of me and you (Gen. 1) tells me to love my neighbor as myself (Mk. 12), and has put it on my heart to care about others when they are in danger. Whether you like it or not, YOU are my neighbor. I’m not a pastor/elder, and will never strive to be as a woman (sorry, I’m not PC 😛), but I do consider myself to be a “soul doctor” for lack of a better term. If I was your physical doctor and I knew you had cancer, but didn’t tell you for fear of offending you, I would be evil to not say anything and let you die. The thoughts we have, the decisions we make, and the way we live our lives is a matter of life and death in this life and the next (Jas. 1, Rom. 6). So what I have to say will probably be highly offensive at first (Jn. 3), but I offend in truth and love with your wellbeing as the main motivation. God’s glory first of course, but ultimately your wellbeing. 

Why do you think I’m in danger? Ok it’s another prelim…sorry 🙈
I probably should have put this in the prelims above, but I got impatient and wanted to jump into the conversation, ha! Correct me if I’m wrong, but is the first thought that comes to your mind when you hear the word “Christian” someone standing with a sign that reads, “God hates (fill in the blank)?” Is it annoyingly frustrating? If so, we have reached our first point of agreement 🙂. It is annoyingly frustrating for me too, because people who espouse this sentiment take a detour from the biblical gospel.  

I could write a whole paper on the topic, but suffice to say that they are followers of Pelagius aka Pelagians, and they believe that they have the power to be sinless in this life. So that’s why the “gospel” you tend to hear from them is, “Stop sinning or you’re going to hell”, and the good news about Christ laying down his life for sinners is largely missing. That couldn’t be further from the biblical truth! Again, without writing another paper, biblically, Christians still sin after God changes their heart and brings them to a point of repentance and faith. It’s a process called sanctification, and Paul talks about the struggle of not doing the good he wants to do, but rather the bad that he hates in Romans 7. Pelagius must have missed Paul’s mention in verse 18 of having no good within his sinful nature. But thanks be to God that HE delivers believers from death through Jesus (v. 25)!

Why do you think I’m in danger? Why do Christians focus so much on the homosexual movement/worldview? 
Ok now I can answer, lol. My response stems from my worldview, and here is where we are going to disagree. Though I hope you will take the time to try and understand where I’m coming from as I have done with you (if I ultimately wasn’t in a convo with myself at the moment, ha). Again, not saying you have to agree with me at all, but please try and understand, and if you don’t, ask questions! I love answering questions. Questions make the conversation world go round. 

So Nancy Pearcey wrote an awesome book called Love Thy Body, analyzing the worldview that encompasses sexual identity/sexual revolution. She presents tireless research on the ins and outs of this worldview, including going all the way back to ancient philosophers like Rene Descartes where the notion of a mind/body dualism stemmed from. Her book is super thick, so I’m trying not to do that length here. Trying…sorry…I’m a writer and I can certainly drone. Ok, so here’s me trying not to do that:

1. God created mankind male and female (Gen. 1). 

2. God created Eve from Adam’s rib to be his helpmate (Gen. 2)–-according to my husband the rib is the only bone in the body that regenerates significantly well. Pretty cool if that’s why God used Adam’s rib since he designed it to grow back. Ok, I know you may not think so, but this is why God is so cool! He knows us, because he literally made us—physically, emotionally, spiritually—all of it (Ps. 139). He never ceases to amaze me with the level of detail in which he knows us and cares for us (Mat. 10). 

3. Once God created Eve, he instilled the stipulations for marriage and sexual intimacy between one man and woman for life (Gen. 2, Mat. 19).

The same is true for marriage. You can make the argument that marriage between homesexuals is equal to that of heterosexuals, because it’s about monogamy and commitment. While those two things set the parameters/rules for marriage, it’s ultimately about the relationship between Jesus and the Church. 

1. The Church is the bride of Christ (Eph. 5).
   
2. Jesus sacrificed himself for his bride, and the Church lovingly submits to him in return (Eph. 5).
   
3. Authority and orderly creation are important to God (1 Cor. 14). You will even see differing roles playing out amongst God himself in the three persons of the Trinity (Father/Son/Spirit, Jn. 1). **See my trinity question later on.
   
4. Therefore, you cannot escape the authority/submission roles God created for gender/marriage (remember we are HIS creation), and often see these played out in homosexual relationships where one partner is more dominant than the other. Two alphas together would be like a volcano constantly erupting, while two betas would reflect a rudderless ship. Someone will lead and the other will naturally follow. 

So ultimately, I make these points to say, I believe you are in danger because you are out of God’s design in your sexuality and/or gender. This ultimately leads to being out of his design for what marriage reflects which is Christ’s relationship to his Church. 

Isn’t that just your interpretation of the Bible?
The above layouts are logical and simple—just like our faith as Christians. There are a plethora of people out there trying to confuse them in every which way, even in Christian camps. But if you apply proper hermeneutics, it’s pretty straightforward and simple. 

Who are you to tell me who I should love or what gender I should be?
I’m not anyone when it comes to being an ultimate authority—God is God (Ex. 3), and I am not aka creator/creature distinction. I’m just the messenger/Christ’s ambassador (2 Cor. 5). 

So why is being out of God’s design dangerous?
If a house doesn’t have a solid foundation, it will crumble. If Earth was a tiny bit closer to or farther away from the sun, this planet would not be inhabitable. If we as humans don’t consume some form of food and water, or can’t breathe, we will die. If gravity decides it wants to cancel humans, we will all get a free ride to space (yay!) and die in the process (boo!). Everything has a proper design that outside of it will not function properly. This also includes marriage. 

Again, I don’t expect you to agree with me on this point, but this is where I’m coming from. So based on my answer above, if you are out of God’s design, you will not be able to wholly function physically, emotionally and spiritually, as God, your creator, intended you to. 

Why do you believe I’m out of God’s design?
Short answer: because you love your sin and autonomy that tells you otherwise (Ps. 36). Yep, I said the “s” word. But, please hear me, because this is where I’m about to differ from the Pelagian that’s in your head (Zombie…ok sorry, I will always love The Cranberries). I AM a sinner too, just like you (Rom. 3). Therefore, I need Christ, just like you. I’ve heard the argument, well this is just how I feel. I didn’t seek to feel this way, it’s just how I am. So a serial killer, pedophile, etc. can make the same argument as you—does it make what they do right? I can make the same argument when I’m unjustifiably angry at someone and act out on it—sin/rebellion to God and his design/laws feels very natural, but that doesn’t make it right.

Why are we sinful?
Well, guys like to say because Eve took the fruit and gave it to Adam (Gen. 3), but Adam was the head (Gen. 2), therefore it’s Adam’s fault 😉 Ok, they both failed in their roles/hearts/lives to follow God’s command not to eat of the tree of knowledge (Gen. 2). Yet before Eve existed, it was Adam who God gave the command to not eat from the tree (Gen. 2), and he was reminded of it before God pronounced his curse (Gen. 3). Therefore, Adam’s original sin/sin nature, and sin’s consequences of separation from God and death in this life and the next, is passed down to all his posterity—me, you and every other human that has ever existed since (1 Cor. 15)—Jesus the exception of course. If you read questions 15–19 of the Westminster Shorter Catechism, it will explain all this way better than I can 😉

This is also why Mary conceived Jesus via the Holy Spirit (Lk. 1). If Jesus was conceived by an earthly father, he would’ve been under the curse of Adam, sinful, and definitely not THE God-man. Sorry, I know that was a ton of theology, but it was a good brain-stretch for me to communicate this stuff in layman’s terms. 

The depth of our sin/depravity is limitless (Rom. 3)…
The mind/body dualism from Pearcey I mentioned earlier is an example of our depth of depravity at play. This basically says our “humanness” is contained in our minds. Therefore our body is to follow what the mind wants. This is a form of the ancient heresy known as Gnosticism which says material bad, spirit good, i.e. body bad, mind good. Interestingly, God is just as concerned in what our body is doing as our mind. But God’s Word does say to set our minds on the things above (Col. 3), because the mind is where sin gives birth to desires that eventually play out in the body (Jas. 1). Yet God holds both our mind and body accountable for sin (Mat. 10). 

Plus, we’re just creative in our depth of depravity. People rebel against saving sex for marriage between one man and woman. People rebel that God made them a man/woman or even human at all. People rebel that God gave them healthy body parts—aka body integrity identity disorder— where people want healthy limbs etc. removed so they can purposely be disabled. On and on it goes. Like I said, we’re creative. 

I don’t believe I’m sinful in my sexuality. 
As stated before, the standard for what’s right and wrong is set by God and not man. I usually use this line of argumentation with atheists as well. After all, haven’t millions of lives been sacrificed at the hands of people wanting to be the “big cheese”, i.e. God, and setting moral standards as they see fit? That was the first temptation that got us into this sinful mess in the first place. 

Aren’t you telling me what to do with my body?
Nope, God is. He cared enough about you to knit you in your mother’s womb, give you a heartbeat, soul, and breathe life into you (Ps. 139), so you can exist on his planet to glorify him (1 Cor. 10) and enjoy him forever (Ps. 16). 

What if I don’t want to glorify God? 
When God said, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess Jesus as Lord (Phil. 2), my husband at one point in his life thought he was going to be the ONLY one standing and giving God the bird during that moment. Now he worships and glorifies God, lol. I think in some sense, we all think like that in our sinful nature. Obviously not everyone gets saved, but if you don’t want to glorify God, you will pay the consequences for your crimes against God—the just judge—for an eternity in hell (Rom. 6). 

See? You’re a Pelagian because you mentioned hell!
Well, Jesus mentioned hell while he was walking around on earth—a lot! It’s a real place, and just like he did tirelessly, I want to lovingly give you a warning about it. Yet like I mentioned with the doctor/cancer thing: I know, trust me I know, this is hard for you to hear. This is hard for me to say, but I love you enough to tell you the truth, and I don’t want you to go there. Not only that, I want your mind/body/soul to be in harmony with God’s design for you. Any other way is just miserable, no matter how much you may say you’re happy. For example: there’s a reason why a growing community of former transgender people are now going back to their God-given gender. They went as far as they could to swap genders, surgery and all, and they still weren’t happy.  Sadly, they found out the hard way that this was not the path to fulfillment.

Am I going to hell because of my sexual preference?
No. If you end up there (which I hope you don’t), but if you do, it will be because you are a well-rounded sinner. Biblically, (again messenger here) the LGBTQIA+ worldview/lifestyle is a form of lust, just like heterosexuals sleeping around outside of marriage is a form of lust. Pretty much any form of sexuality practiced outside of marriage (as God defines it) is a form of lust. Please hear that you are NOT the only group/person guilty of this. We are all guilty of lust along with a myriad of countless other sins/crimes against God and his law (Jas. 2). 

If you, I, or anyone else don’t come to God in repentance and faith, trusting Jesus’ (the God-man) death and resurrection to pay for our court crimes against him (1 Cor. 15), we will be paying eternally for those crimes in hell. 

God’s a big meanie for having such standards. 
God’s a perfectly just judge (Ps. 75), that would be unjust if he didn’t punish crimes and let criminals like you and me off the hook. He is gracious that for some, he chooses to pay for those court crimes with the blood and suffering of his sinless Son Jesus (Eph. 1). 

Is God made up of three gods? 
Oh the Trinity—another book, lol. One God, three distinct persons/personalities (Father/Son/Spirit) (Gen. 1). Nothing on earth to point to that’s like that, because God is God and we are not. Though if you are interested in some books, James White and Ryan McGraw have written and spoken extensively on this subject . 

I appreciate your concern for my soul, but I am happy in my sexuality, and I don’t believe it’s a sin I’m going to hell for. 
Thank you so much for listening/sharing and honestly engaging with my points/beliefs. Like I said at the start, I can’t change your mind, but I am grateful we got to have this conversation! I pray one day God will change your heart, so you can come to know the love/goodness/truth of your Creator, and have an awesome relationship with him in this life and the next. If you’re interested, grab a bible and just simply read it for yourself. Start in the gospels (Matthew/Mark/Luke/John) and get to know Jesus and his love/sacrifice for sinners like you and me. Also, seek out testimonies of people who were in your shoes but are now Christian if you’re curious as to what changed their minds. Otherwise, have a great day! 

End of convo…
Ok, so I’m counting on only about five people to read this mish mash of craziness, and that’s ok lol. If you did read it through, thank you—and please if you have any questions/comments ask and share! I just ask that you do it respectfully and with a heart to listen and understand where I’m coming from as I will do with you. Finally, I leave you with this passage, praying God will open your eyes to see his heart to save sinners like you and me: “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5: 6–8, ESV). 

Much Love, 
Laura

*Photo by Ryan Collis from Pexels